Friday, February 11, 2011

What are the chances of getting caught for this?

Police have matched DNA taken from a 31-year-old man to semen found in a yogurt sample that was offered at an Albuquerque grocery store.

Albuquerque Police Department spokeswoman Trish Hoffman said Thursday an investigation is continuing but the man faces a potential charge for battery.

Hoffman says Food and Drug Administration authorities are also looking into the case and might pursue a federal felony charge for food tampering.

Police responded to the Sunflower Market in northwest Albuquerque on Jan. 26 after a woman called 911 and reported a store employee had given her what she was told was a yogurt sample. The woman told police she believed it was actually a bodily fluid.

Hoffman says the man was arrested on an unrelated warrant.

This girl deserves a senior detective position with the NYPD. I bet this lady was being a heinous bitch, and he thought the perfect way to fuck with this jackass woman would be to whack off in her yogurt. Seriously, if that were some vanilla or plain yogurt and he maybe mixed it around the little, he probably completely thought he'd get away with it. I mean, I would too. But this lady probably hadn't blown her husband in 15 years, so the second she got a little salty taste in her mouth, instead of thinking "Man, this yogurt is garbage," she thought "I know what this flavor is....time to call the authorities because I've got jizz in my mouth." I mean, yeah, nobody wants a mouthful of jizz when you're not expecting it, but the fact that she was able to pinpoint that flavor in a an entire container full of yogurt is pretty impressive.

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