Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I think this dude maybe didn't think this out entirely

SARASOTA, Fla., Feb. 15 (UPI) -- Authorities in Florida said a homeless man sent to jail Friday was found to be concealing 30 items in a condom hidden in his rectum.

The Sarasota County Sheriff's Office said Neil Lansing, 33, had been jailed following a Friday court appearance on undisclosed charges when corrections deputies performing a routine cell block search noticed a piece of condom sticking out of Lansing's rectum, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported Tuesday.

Officials said they removed the condom and it was found to contain 17 blue pills, a cigarette, six matches, one flint, an empty syringe with an eraser covering the needle, a lip balm container, an unused condom, a pharmacy receipt and a coupon.

The sheriff's office said Lansing, who is being held without bond, is facing charges of possessing a drug and a tobacco product in jail.

This is the only thing I was wondering after I finished reading this article: why the fuck did he bother to stick the receipt up there too? I can't imagine that he was intending to return anything that he'd put up his butt, but I guess financially that's a smart decision. He may be that most forward-thinking person to over shove multiple items up his butt. But really dude, a single cigarette? why not just go for the whole pack? Not only that, but do you really want to put something that's been chillin' in your asshole for God knows how long in your mouth? I know it's your own personal butt juices and all but still, not hygienic in any sense. Also not sure why he decided to stick the condom up there, because if he was planning to bone some dude in jail i'm pretty sure gay sex is a good way to not get anyone pregnant. But on the other side, why did he bother to stick that up there anyway? It's not like condoms are illegal. Moral of the story is this guy is a total conundrum to me...really thinking on his feet with some of the things he shoved up his bumhole and then just totally missing the mark on others.

No comments:

Post a Comment